Lest I die, Unshriven

I have imperiled my immortal soul in your name

I have imagined your eyes, abyss-black with desire
I have delighted in the thought of your absolute corruption
I have dwelt on violence, envisioned you shocked and colorless
I have toyed with obsession, seen repeating patterns in your every gesture
I have felt myself slipping, and cursed myself for not letting go
I have been unappreciative, petty and trifling with your affection
I have let myself become enthralled by my own despair
I have screamed and raved to incorporeal spirits about you
I have laid tricks in your path, stolen tokens and worked charms against you
I have undone all my good works for one fleeting moment, here and now
I have dreamed of you every night in the dark oblivion before the dawn
I have craved you as a succubus that comes to me, all consuming, as is in your nature
I have truly adored you and all that you are, your heretical divinity
I have cherished each breath you take and the trip-hammer of your heartbeat
I have never meant to distress you, but I cannot apologize for the way I am
Lest I die, unshriven
I request absolution
The calm that comes from the heat of your proximity
The forgiveness that comes with the brush of your hand

My demons are quelled by your momentary trespass
I step back from the brittle edge, unbroken again