Vox Nocturne

Thinking of your lips tonight
all your pretty words
Oh, I remember each one
your beautiful elegant lies
Web weaving
Silken strands
So easy to tear through
false futures spun from fantasy
crumble to dust
with the slightest disturbance
and holding ashes
I convince myself
that was real, that was real, that was real

Oh but I get it
that's just pillow talk
that's just things you say

as you're backing out of the room
trying to get away
from the person holding the knife
You know, I didn't murder you
but I can't say it never crossed my mind
and you would have laughed to hear me say that
and how I would flush at the thought of it
of my hands pressing in
your eyes rolling back, white, then closing
drawing your last breath into me
Or a blade, yes, sharp as your tongue
Or an athame
god knows you couldn't be killed by normal means
Thrusting in and thrusting forward
until I can hear the blade scrape the wall behind you
the rattle from your throat as beautiful as a choir of angels
My heart at last at peace
My soul untormented and still

And now that you exist only in my head
alone in the dark
ears deaf from blood pounding
you wouldn't believe the fights we've had
still sparring with you
How eloquent, how poignant I was
arguing my case
undaunted
Still trying to reason
with the unreasonable
Surely no long dead voice
no long dead love
would ever pronounce me guilty
and I tell myself
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine